so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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