no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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