HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
