You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
