We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
