so that wasnt chicken after all
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
