I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
