Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
