You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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