She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
