Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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