They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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