We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
