i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
