I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
