also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just found puke in my bra..
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
In other news, I just burned my penis
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
