Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Your tits are I can't wait for
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
