'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
