It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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