Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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