I just made out with a guy for $7.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
