I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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