thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
