Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
