He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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