You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
