you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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