I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i will never coherently bang her
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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