I want to make a zoo with you.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
