Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Randomize
