hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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