nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
