Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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