I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
