I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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