Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
