Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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