Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
