Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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