new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
