i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
