We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
