Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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