The maid of honor just puked.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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