On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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