You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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