please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i need some magic done to my vagina
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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