I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
