Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
