Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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